Fred Thompson For Vice-President

There's a Sally Quinn column out about a plan to oust Cheney and her plan is to replace him with good ol' Fred Thompson. Yes, that's right, Sally gets all warm and glowy just thinking about Fred.

That leaves Fred Thompson. Everybody loves Fred. He has the healing qualities of Gerald Ford and the movie-star appeal of Ronald Reagan. He is relatively moderate on social issues. He has a reputation as a peacemaker and a compromiser. And he has a good sense of humor.

He could be just the partner to bring out Bush's better nature -- or at least be a sensible voice of reason. I could easily imagine him telling the president, "For God's sake, do not push that button!" -- a command I have a hard time hearing Cheney give.

I think Sally has the hots for good ol' Fred. She seems to be all gushy and giggly doesn't she? Where does Bush keep his better side? He has it hidden better than Saddam's WMDs.

Not only that, Thompson would give the Republicans a platform for running for the presidency -- and the president a way out of Iraq without looking like he's backing down. Bush would be left in better shape on the war and be able to concentrate on AIDS and the environment in hopes of salvaging his legacy.

I'm not sure how tossing Big Dick out and replacing him with good ol' Fred would help the situation in Iraq and as for Bush's legacy, I don't think you want to mention George W. Bush and the environment. His environmental legacy will be about how bad he screwed it up and caved to every energy company in the country. I suppose good ol' Fred being around would help him raise a few bucks to decorate the basement where his presidential library will be. When your legacy and reputation is being the worst president in U.S. history, you need all the help you can get.

Cheney is scheduled this summer for surgery to replace his pacemaker, which needs new batteries. So if the president is willing, and Republicans are able, they have a convenient reason to replace him: doctor's orders. And I'm sure the the vice president would also like to spend more time with his ever-expanding family.

Do you get the impression that Ms. Quinn doesn't like Big Dick? What's with that sorta snide reference about his new grandchild?

I've asked this question before, but why does Cheney need a new pacemaker? Don't you need a heart to attach it to?

Jim Martin