Saturday, May 11, 2013

Rand Paul fires the first shot at 2016

I want to shoot myself for even saying the words Election 2016, but it's clear the battle flags are being planted already. In the race to be first out on the field, Rand Paul issues a call to arms to rally round the paranoid gun hoarders.

In a blast email Rand tells the true believers there's an “anti-American globalist plot against our Constitution," led by none other than President Barack Obama in league with the UN. They're coming to take yer guns and destroy Murika. But have no fear. Rand Paul is willing to lead the troops to glory. He has a battle plan ready to go.
Direct mail. Phones. E-mail. Blogs. Guest editorials. Press conferences. Hard-hitting internet, newspaper, radio and even TV ads if funding permits. The whole nine yards. Of course, a program of this scale is only possible if the National Association for Gun Rights can raise the money.

But that’s not easy, and we may not have much time.

In fact, if gun owners are going to defeat the UN’s schemes, pro-gun Americans like you and me have to get involved NOW!

So please put yourself on record AGAINST the UN Gun Ban by signing NAGR’s Firearms Sovereignty Survey.

But along with your survey, please agree to make a generous contribution of $250, $100, $50 or even just $35.
Freedom ain't free and yer gonna need those guns when Rand leads you into battle against the agents of tyranny. (And if that doesn't work out, Mr. Paul is all set up for nice sinecure with the gun lobby.) Is Murika a great country, or what? [photo via] and [graphic via], true patriots.

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Blogger A Conservative Teacher said...

I can't tell if this post is satire or true? It appears to be a very good restating of the events? Is this a straight news post or was there some sort of joke in here? If it was a joke, what was the joke? I must be missing something.

12:37:00 PM  
Blogger Capt. Fogg said...

I'm sure you are, nor would it be the first time.

3:08:00 PM  
Blogger Capt. Fogg said...

I wonder about people who see a treaty banning arms sales to terrorists or countries under embargo or countries with rogue dictators, like the ones we traditionally support, that are engaged in genocide.

It would have no discernible effect on domestic sales or purchases -- unless of course, you're the Taliban and want to buy your guns at a Bass Pro shop and have them delivered in Kabul.

If Rand Paul is afraid of not being able to sell guns to the Taliban or the Syrian government of African warlords, than he's a bigger piece of shit than I thought.

The human garbage that sell quantities of weapons to any buyer, friend or foe are the only ones who should worry about this. So perhaps young Randy has some business with Joseph Koney he wants to continue or his name is really Abdul Rand al Sabah, or he's just another shameless shill for the arms dealers who are pissed off that maybe they can't sell to drug lords and terrorists any more. Perhaps he thinks it's wrong not to allow arms dealers to sell to people who use those arms to kill Americans. Perhaps he's a dangerous fucking idiot. Perhaps he's a traitor, aiding and abetting our enemies. How "conservative!"

Maybe he knows there are enough idiots, enough pompous nitwits who hide their little brains behind a cloak of "conservatism" -- enough sad, pretentious, frustrated, underclass nobodies desperate to seem important who will buy any idiotic story as long as it justifies their flimsy pretensions, enough mental midgets and assholes to get Paul on the ballot for 2016, but I hope there are since he has less chance of being elected legitimately than our phoney teacher here has of getting into Mensa.

All these people have is their anger to keep from realizing just how meaningless they are, how unintelligent, how confused, how impotent to do anything but sabotage truth, justice and what ought to be the American way.

3:32:00 PM  
Blogger Libby Spencer said...

Nice of you to take the time to explain Fogg.

10:50:00 PM  
Blogger Capt. Fogg said...

sorry to be so verbose, but we have to do something about the Chatty Kathy dolls when the Right Wing America haters pull their strings. They get so exited when they're given some new lie or distortion they can use to feel smugly condescending with.

Might I steal an idea from the Tea Traitors and suggest deporting them?

8:36:00 AM  
Blogger Libby Spencer said...

Don't get me wrong, I love that you do it, especially so eloquently. Admire your patience.

12:46:00 PM  
Blogger Capt. Fogg said...

I wouldn't call it patience -- disgust, maybe. I get tired of the refuse of America using this idiocy as a refuge.

8:19:00 PM  

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