Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Wherein I (shockingly) link to David Brooks

Hell, I haven't read a full David Brooks column in (literally) years. I rarely even read posts about his columns, except for Charlie Pierce's reliably amusing posts channeling the long suffering pup Moral Hazard. Yet, I not only read this one, I'm passing it on. Not often you see BoBo try to taunt Romney with satire. A few excerpts:
... Mitt Romney was born on March 12, 1947, in Ohio, Florida, Michigan, Virginia and several other swing states. He emerged, hair first, believing in America, and especially its national parks. He was given the name Mitt, after the Roman god of mutual funds, and launched into the world with the lofty expectation that he would someday become the Arrow shirt man.

Mitt grew up in a modest family. His father had an auto body shop called the American Motors Corporation, and his mother owned a small piece of land, Brazil. He had several boyhood friends, many of whom owned Nascar franchises, and excelled at school, where his fourth-grade project, “Inspiring Actuaries I Have Known,” was widely admired….

...He spent two years knocking on doors, failing to win a single convert. This was a feat he would replicate during his 2008 presidential bid.

After his mission, he attended Harvard, studying business, law, classics and philosophy, though intellectually his first love was always tax avoidance. After Harvard, he took his jawline to Bain Consulting, a firm with very smart people with excessive personal hygiene. While at Bain, he helped rescue many outstanding companies, like Pan Am, Eastern Airlines, Atari and DeLorean.

After his governorship, Romney suffered through a midlife crisis, during which he became a social conservative. This prepared the way for his presidential run. He barely won the 2012 Republican primaries after a grueling nine-month campaign, running unopposed. At the convention, where his Secret Service nickname is Mannequin, Romney will talk about his real-life record: successful business leader, superb family man, effective governor, devoted community leader and prudent decision-maker. If elected, he promises to bring all Americans together and make them feel inferior.
Steve M. thinks BoBo was going for a sort of tough love, but I'm with the Balloon Juice theory, where Anne Laurie tempted me to read BoBo's piece in the first place. I think it likely somebody hacked BoBo's column.

Can't wait to hear what Moral Hazard has to say about it.

[More posts daily at the Detroit News.]

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