Saturday, June 26, 2010

I am so really screwed

I am so screwed friends. I'm so desperate for a job I applied yesterday to be a server in a ribs joint for 2 nights a week. The good news is it was a very short application. The bad news is before I left the woman who took it, asked for my birthday. She made it pretty clear that I'm too old for the job. That's not even legal of course, but who's going to sue over a two night job? I didn't get the good bartending job either. I see the ad is out of the paper.

But that's not the worst part. I got a letter from the bank. They cut off my credit card. I was depending on that to pay my bills this month. I won't even be able to afford my medications now, much less buy food. Not that the food is so important. I don't eat much anyway and I have enough in the cupboards to last a while. Besides I'm so upset I haven't been to able to eat anyway. I can barely hold down the food. Not to mention the heat is making me sick. I haven't turned on my AC because I was trying to keep the electric bill down. It averages from 85 to 90 in the apartment and it's too hot to eat anything but pasta salad. It doesn't help that I haven't been able to sleep more than five hours for a week since I was already freaking about the job situation. I wake up in a panic. Sometimes I vomit. I lost five pounds this week.

I don't think I've ever felt this desperate in my life. I have nothing worth selling to raise cash. How I got here is a long story that I'm not ready to tell yet. All I can say for right now is I made a lot of decisions based on promises that weren't kept.

At this point I have no choice but to plead for help. I know times are tough for everyone, and some of you have already helped me before, but I'm hoping people can hit my paypal button and give me $5.55. Why 555? Because paypal takes the extra change to process the donation. Of course any amount will help and if you would rather just send five bucks in the mail, email me for my address.

Thanks in advance if you can help me.


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Anonymous Ruth said...

(throwing rope)

11:52:00 AM  
Blogger steve simels said...


I'm a little cash poor myself. But where are you? Maybe I know somebody in your area that can help with employment?

e-mail me....

12:33:00 PM  
Anonymous xan said...

Libby, you are where I was about 3 months ago. An ap (takes 8 hours to fill out!) I put in with these folks awhile back finally came through. Outsourced work-at-home customer service/tech support jobs mostly, everything from credit cards to cell phone companies to that big new casino-hotel in Vegas. They're really ramping up for that one currently, although my cell phone line is also interviewing now.

drop me a line if you like. x ant hip pe at bel lsou th. net

12:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been there, too, It's been a while because I have a really secure state job now. Meaning, I've been here forever and they cannot get rid of me. Here I am bitching about another pay cut and then I realize there are worse things. I'll kick in a few bucks.

1:47:00 PM  
Blogger Libby Spencer said...

Oh Ruth. You humble me with your kindness. I hear you posted a link at Eschaton too.

Simels, not to worry. I completely understand that lots of people are just getting by. I appreciate the emotional support just as much.

Xan, I actually looked into doing that but my computer is too old to support their software and I don't have the right kind of phone. Knowing you found a way out of the hole is encouraging and your concern comforts me.

Anon. Thanks so much. I really appreciate the help. I know nobody is rolling in dough right now.

7:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Out herein California, the Salvation Army has a program where you can get cash to pay utility bills, it is PG&E here. I would try calling them and see if there is some kind of similar program back there. And contact you utility companies and ask them about subsidies they may have. You can do this anonymously to just find out. If you can get the bills paid, that would be a help, I imagine, yes?

8:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yep. Just google Salvation Army and utility bills, Libby. It's a one time thing, every 18 months, or so. If they do it in Oklahoma, they will in NC, if that is where you are. And there are usually food programs as well. Try all the churches and charities. You will get by until you land a job with help of friends. Hang in there.

8:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My mother works for United Way. Some of the organizations they work with help with utility bills and rent. They also have some help for medications.Of course they are all overwhelmed right now because donations are down, and need is up. You should call them in your city. If they can't help, a lot of the time, they have a list of organizations that can. I have needed help in my life and I have always found out I had friends and family who were there. It is hard, I know, but when the "Safety net" has a big hole in it, you have to ask for help.

I live in Colorado and this state has a program where you can get medications for free if you are low income.

10:30:00 PM  
Anonymous JordanCornblog said...

I sent some $$ and wish you all the best. This will pass, that's the thing ... and something good will come of it.

Have you thought at all about exploring the VA (Virtual Assistant) route? Clearly you have excellent writing skills ... and there are lots of people out there in the virtual world looking for copy ... or help maintaining databases, mailing lists, etc. Might be worth looking into.

Good luck to you and I hope things turn around for you soon. Keep us posted here!

6:56:00 AM  
Blogger Libby Spencer said...

Anon, my plan is to start Monday to figure out what kind of help I can get from the government agencies. Didn't know about the Salvation Army or United Way though. Thanks for the tip, I'll check that too.

Jordan, thanks so much for the support. I'm not sure how to go about getting a Virtual Asst job. The ones I've seen on Craig's list always look fake. Making a living on writing is getting tougher all the time. A lot of competition out there from laid off journos with better creds than mine. But I'll certainly check it out.

8:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dcblogger here -
Get on food stamps, it will make whatever money you do get go that much farther. You will need proof of residence and photo id, but since you have no income at all you will qualify for emergency benefits. I went one day to apply came back the next to pick up my EBT card.

Also some of the places that help feed the homeless also make emergency rent grants.

If you have a laptop you can cut your internet service and use the library instead. You can also use McDonalds, Starbucks, Au Bon Pain, etc.

Also Craigslist is your friend. In their for sale section they have a free section.

If your readers are sufficiently generous (so hard when your readers are as bad off as you are or nearly so) you will have some breathing space, assuming you can find a charity to at least give you a one time rent grant.

10:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One of the many anons here, Libby. I am so poor I really can't send you anything right now and I'm about to lose my own home, but having been dirt poor for so long, I do know how to find the help to get you through this very rough spot. Food stamps, any church or charity, like United Way or Salvation Army, St. Vincent De Paul...

As DC blogger says, they may even have one time rent grants. They don't want people losing their homes. Go to local churches and see if they can help. Catholic Churches do this kind of thing frequently. And even the utility companies often have special programs for low income people.

3:35:00 AM  
Blogger Libby Spencer said...

Thanks for the advice anons and dcblogger. Ironically, I don't even know what agency to go to ask for food stamps and I probably should have done it a long time ago instead of waiting until I was almost dead broke.

It's really hard for me to ask for help for myself. Most of my life I've been the one helping others and I figured people with families who have more to lose needed it more than me.

I kept hoping I would find a job and make it through without having to ask.

Thank you all so much for the encouragement and support. It means the world to me to not feel so all alone in this.

10:18:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dcblogger again
go to the website of your local government, food stamps will probably be somewhere in the human services section. or you could just Google the name of your locality and food stamps and you might be taken to precisely the page you need.

I too waited too long to get on Food Stamps, I also waited too long to cut my internet service.

Many coffee shops and even some McDonalds have out door seating. You don't fee so self conscious sitting there for hours if you are outside. Some of the Starbucks even have outdoor electrical outlets so that you can plug your computer in and work all day. Actually, you should wait for July 1 for that because Starbucks wifi won't be free until then.

If there is an Au Bon Pain near you they have classical music in the morning.

11:35:00 AM  
Blogger Libby Spencer said...

Thanks for the advice dcblogger. This little town is not very wired for the internets. All we have is a Starbucks that offers wifi but it's very noisy, it's right next to the highway and no where to plug in and the battery on my laptop is screwed up and won't hold a charge in any event. Panera Bread is a good one too, if you have one nearby. They usually have at least a few tables where you can plug in and they're very good about letting you hang out for hours with just the purchase of a coffee, except at the rush hours for meals.

The good news is my local library has plug in availability and free wifi, along with a good AC system and no one cares if you spend all day there. The hours are only good M-Thu but they're open for a short time on Fri and Sat so it's something.

In any event, thanks again for your support. You, and everyone, have been such a comfort, I'm not feeling quite so panicked anymore and I haven't vomited in the last two days. So there's that. :~)

12:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, another one is "Share and Care"/. They must have something like it where you are. Ou donate time to someting or someone. I used to babysit my niece, and they will give you food or you can buy it cheaper han a store. THe stuff is donated from producers.

It's better than some places because you get fresh vegetables. Also, sometimes you get things besides food that you cannot buy with Food Stamps, like shampoo, toilet paper, etc.

9:16:00 PM  
Blogger Libby Spencer said...

Thanks for the tips. I had no idea there were so many resources out there. Good to know.

10:57:00 PM  
Anonymous Patrick in Lincoln Park said...


We are different sides of the political fence. However, we are from the same damned area. Further more, we're in the same boat. If it were not for my parents. I would be in the same boat as you.

My heart truly goes out to you. Have you thought about adding Google Adsense to the blog? It can only help.

I do truly wish you the best. I know the feeling; and I do hope it passes for you.

I wish you the best in this difficult time.

-Patrick Adkins

2:26:00 PM  
Blogger Libby Spencer said...

Patrick thanks so much for the kind thoughts and the sweet post at your blog asking your peeps to help me.

I had google ads for well over a year. Not only did they not pay out when I hit over a $100, somehow a month later, I was down to $70. So they effectively made money off the blog for a year without giving me a cent. Meanwhile, the ads were often offensive.

Then when I tried to cancel the acct altogether, it wouldn't let me and there is no apparent way to reach an actual person there. I just deleted the ads. For all I know they're still selling an empty space.

4:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I just got renewed for 4-6 wks at my temp job today, work is coming in piecemeal for many. In gratitude for being able to make a knot and hang on in my corner of the world, heard via athenae to pitch in. Hope it helps. btw, great posts above re: getting some eb's soon. Best wishes. ~zm

9:58:00 PM  
Blogger Libby Spencer said...

Thanks so zenmouse. I really appreciate the help.

5:38:00 PM  
Anonymous Patrick in Lincoln Park said...


Hmmmmm... On the Google Ads. I've heard about weirdo stuff like that here. But its never happened to me...Yet!

And... Yeah, We might not agree on the finer points of politics, but that real life shit is different. I do truly hope that you do get the assistance that you need. It's rough out there right now. Believe me, I know. I haven't worked since 2005. If it were not for my parents; whom, mock me if you will, were not for them, I'd be living under an overpass somewhere... Believe you me. I'd love to get the hell out their house. Between my Dad driving me crazy and the nosy assed neighbors around here. I want out. But, I cannot afford it. I mean, the outsiders don't get it --- but I do. Blood hell do I ever.

We might disagree as to HOW we got here. But what matters now is, that we're here and the best we can do is help on another out, instead of fucking snarling at one another, like the rest of the bloggers.

If I can be of anymore help. Let me know.


2:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

join the club, libby

3:17:00 PM  
Blogger Libby Spencer said...

Patrick, you're far from the only one in that position. I know too many people who ended up back at their parents house and you're lucky to have them. My folks don't have the room or any extra money to help out.

But they offer emotional support and that's just as important and helpful in troubled times. I appreciate theirs and yours. You're a good person to put aside our political differences and reach out as a fellow human in the same boat. I think it's great when that happens. I wish people could do that more even when it's not about bonding over mutual troubles.

Anon, I've been in this club for way too long and it's membership is growing way too big. Here's hoping we live to see the day when we can disband it.

3:30:00 PM  
Anonymous Patrick in Lincoln Park said...

Moved back in?

Shit, I never got a chance to leave!

Being up to one's eyes in debt does that to a guy.

Bankruptcy is a wonderful thing, Did that in 2004. Wish I'd done it earlier.

6:27:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't wait until you have no money to go and apply for goverment aid. It does not switch on instantly, it may take weeks. Go and apply today for unemployment if you have not all ready done so, and Food Stamps, which ain't much but everything helps, and any emergency funds your state and county provide.
Also contact your county homless services coordinator. There are often programs for funds to help pay rent or utilities, to prevent you becoming homeless. It is better and less costly to help you a little than for you to become homeless so the county has to help you a lot.
You may not think you are eligible, or should need help, but go and apply anyway. You will be amazed at what help there is if you ask in the right pace, and a little depressed at the paperwork, waiting and time that some of them take.
Do it BEFORE things get critical because some just take a long time to get processed.
Good Luck.

12:34:00 AM  
Blogger Libby Spencer said...

Thanks for the advice anon. For reasons too complicated to explain, I was unable to collect unemployment benefits. If I could have collected, I would not have ended up in such a jam.

9:58:00 AM  

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