Dear Mr. O'Reilly...

Well all the cool kids are doing it, so though I'm late to the party, I just had to make a pitch for Bill O'Reilly's enemies list. What the hey, I've been bashing Bill for years, even before I had a blog. Via News from Davison, I see Pensito Review is archiving posts. Here's my pitch.

Dear Bill,

Please add me to your enemies' list. I know it's getting rather long now that you've been inundated with volunteers but I believe as a long standing smear artist of little renown, I deserve a slot at the top of your roster.

My credentials are impeccable. I'm a progressive liberal who thinks the occupation of Iraq will go down in history as the most dunderheaded policy move ever recorded and was only made possible by self-serving blowhards like yourself.

I hate America so much that I promote the right of gay people to marry, a woman's right to choose abortion, the legalization of drugs as an alternative to a failed prohibition system and the citizens' right to freely assemble and publicly air their dissent to a corrupt government.

Furthermore I think any duplicitous lamebrain who doesn't know the difference between a falafel and a loofah shouldn't be opining about sex, much less government policy. I would say in the world of political punditry, The O'Reilly Factor is the carnival freak show thanks to your immoderate moderation. I blog about your idiocy and your painfully apparent inadequacies regularly.

In closing, I would like to suggest the next time you think about opening your mouth on any issue of importance to our country, you shove the Coit Tower down your throat and think again.

Sincerely,

Libby Spencer

Proudly smearing Bill O'Reilly since 1998

Do you think I'll make the cut?