Sunday, August 17, 2008

Morbid thought

I was just thinking about dying the other day. At the time I was feeling pretty overwhelmed by my personal problems and thought it would be so much easier to just go to sleep and not have to wake up and deal with it. Nobody depends on me for their survival. I've had a full and interesting life and I could pass on at this point with few regrets.

Then this story about a lung cancer victim whose public health plan wouldn't cover her chemo but would cover assisted suicide showed up in my email. At first read, it sounds shocking but I'm not sure it's such a bad choice.

She was in remission and the cancer recurred. The most time the chemo will likely give her is a year. The norm is a few months. Maybe she could beat the odds and live a few more years but it appears she's pretty much stuck at home on a respirator with her dog. She looks to be in her 60s, but it's not like she has a full and normal life as it is. I don't think I would want to live like that.

I've seen a few people go through chemo. It's ugly. If I knew I would only get a few months from going through it, I think I wouldn't do it. I'd just let myself die. And if it turned out to be a long and painful death, I'd be glad to have the option to cheat the grim reaper on the short side instead of prolonging the inevitable. [hat tip]

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Blogger rockync said...

Funny you should post this. We just got back from visiting one of hubby's relations who has this very same thing; lung cancer. She will try anything to get a little extra time. I know we all feel like if it was us we would be rational and philosophical about it all, but I don't think any of us can really say how we would react until the day someone drops that bit of news on us. She struggles with coming to grips with her illness while the rest of us struggle with coming to grips with the idea she may not be here by Fall.
In the meantime, we are going to see her, help her when we can and support whatever decisions she makes... it's a tough time.

9:46:00 AM  
Blogger Libby Spencer said...

It's a tough decision to be sure and it's true, unless you're faced with it, it's hard to say how you will really react.

I'm sorry to hear it's happening to you and my thoughts and prayers are with you all.

11:55:00 AM  
Blogger rockync said...

Thank you, your thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated. We are going to be busy traveling back and forth, but probably not for long. I'm hoping for a spontaneous recovery but preparing for goodbyes. This is the part of life I really don't like.

3:15:00 PM  

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