Tuesday, July 05, 2005

I pledge allegiance, to the flag...

There's some buzz building on this letter to the editor in the Greensboro News & Record. Some half-crazed redneck is threatening Ed Cone with bodily harm for burning flags. Of course, Ed has never burned a flag or expressed a desire to do so, but wingnuts like this never let a little thing like the facts get in the way of hateful rhetoric. The guy speaks to Cone using "the voice of the flag."

I couldn't resist leaving my own comment.

Dear Flag:

How could we have gone so wrong? I will always love you, but I stopped being proud of you when you took up with that shameless gigolo Bush. He'll screw anything that moves.

But don't worry, when you realize you've been betrayed by a sweet-talking con man, I'll be there to pick the pieces of your broken heart.
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Blogger Lex said...

[Lex wipes eyes, rubs aching ribs, gasps.]

Oh. My. God. I haven't laughed that hard since Steve Harvey's riff on wife-murderin' Rae Carruth in "The Original Kings of Comedy," and I laughed so hard at that that my ribs still hurt the next morning.

2:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the encouragement Lex.

3:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beautiful response. Have these people never heard about burning old and mucked-up flags?

If a flag touches the ground, you're supposed to destroy it - preferably by burning.

What would the numbskulls say if I took a fallen flag and tossed it (even with a reverent toss) into my trashbin?

Dear Flag: I'm sorry that your tattered and ancient stripes are no longer fit for flying. I hope you enjoy a long and slow deterioration in my local landfill. It's the dignified way to go, I promise.

Burning seems the better option, no? Besides, as Jon Stewart pointed out, the flag-burning "problem" is mostly overseas and out of fashion, anyway.


3:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I'll say this: Until the Government Office for Dispersing Sacred Objects hands me my own government flag, I'll do what I want with my Chinese manufactured, pure rayon, Old Glory that I bought with my own money.
To borrow and modify a slogan from the holier-than-thou right; I will always be in favor of burning flags every time some shitheel politician wraps himself in one.
I don't choose to burn my flag, I love my country too much, but I do choose not to fly it. I am ashamed of the disparity between what Mr. Bush says our country stands for and what he is actually doing in our names.

8:21:00 PM  

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